Yay Resources! (Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Freeze Shit)

Another quiz! Guess what this is:If you guessed that it is some intriguingly new-agey refrigeration-type device, you are probably a very reasonable person. You are, however, mostly wrong. It is a refrigeration device, to be sure, but for refrigerating what? Not food or beverages, no, but garbage. Yes that’s right folks, garbage. This is the MINUS frozen garbage can. You know how garbage smells sometimes, right? I know, I know, you could just close the lid or empty it more often, but wouldn’t you rather freeze it? It’ll be fun. You’ll spend lots more money, fuck the Earth, encourage freon leaks, still have to empty it all the goddamn time (it’s about 18″ high), and best of all, when you do empty it, it’ll be in the form of holding your priceless waste receptacle upside down and trying to shake the giant chunk of welded garbage out of it. The neighbors will call the authorities. Here are some quotes from the concept (it’s still a concept, thank god).

“Frozen garbage does not leave ruins around, so MINUS allows you a clean garbage dump”

The original premise is a little shaky, but it doesn’t matter, because as soon as it’s out, it’ll fucking thaw, you moronic shit. And dribble putrid garbage-popsicle juice all over your clean garbage dump.

“With transparent cover, you can see from outside whether the reservoir is full or empty”

You know what else does that? A garbage can. Umm…

“The blue light spreading from the transparent cover of MINUS will form a nice ambience in your place in addition to preventing bacteria formation”

Show of hands if you’ve ever bought a trash can for the ambience. Got ’em up? Good. Now put that hand down on the floor and jump up and down on it a lot. Bonus points if you fall down the stairs.

So that’s the MINUS. Like I said, it’s still only a concept from a Turkish art student, but if and when it does come out, expect it to cost a million billion squillion dollars. Where “a million billion squillion” equates to “more than a plastic one”.

Boy Genius has spoken.

One thought

  1. Dude, your blog rocks. I’ve been reading it every week now. Always nice to have a comrade in arms to fearlessly stand against the rising storm of stupidity threatening to engulf us all.

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