As you probably know, the Super Bowl is next week. This is the part where those of you that didn't know that scroll all the way to the bottom of this post to explain to me that you don't care about football, and how it's VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU that I know that you don't care about... Continue Reading →
THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS’ STAR WARS VIDEO IS FUCKING STUPID
On January 7, the New England Patriots released a "hype video," as they called it, themed around the trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. The idea is to get Pats fans pumped up for the playoffs, as though Pats fans didn't already exist in a perpetual state of slavering, feverish idol-worship toward their team... Continue Reading →
I WATCHED “VERTICAL LIMIT” (AGAIN) SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO
If you've never seen Vertical Limit, good for you. If you've never even heard of it, even better. It came out in 2000 and somehow made $215 million on a budget of just $75 million, despite being a train wreck of scarcely believable proportions. It is, without a doubt, the worst climbing movie ever made,... Continue Reading →
COSMO’S GUIDE TO THE SUPER BOWL (FOR LADIES)
Hello ladies! As you may know, if a man in your life has informed you or you overheard it somewhere, this Sunday is the Super Bowl. That's when two football teams play each other, and the winner gets a shiny trophy and tickets to Disney World and bragging rights for the next 10 months, until... Continue Reading →