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Posted on December 25, 2022December 25, 2022

BREAKING DOWN THE STUPIDEST CHRISTMAS AD ON TV

I don’t watch a lot of TV with ads. Either I stream stuff or I pirate it. Except for live sports. I watch a lot of live sports, and the…

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Posted on December 24, 2022December 23, 2022

DON’T GET TOO EXCITED ABOUT NUCLEAR FUSION

This breakthrough is checking the first box of many, many, many boxes that have to be checked before a viable fusion reactor can exist. Here’s what you need to know.

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Posted on June 2, 2022

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHETHER A FETUS IS A PERSON

Housekeeping update since it’s been a million years since I’ve written anything: I own a house now and there’s a baby on the way. I’m like a fully formed grownup.…

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Posted on March 5, 2021August 9, 2021

WHY THE FLIKR PORTABLE FIREPLACE IS A STUPID IDEA

It’s essentially a concrete cup that you put flammable liquid in, then light on fire inside the comfort of your own living room. If that sounds like a terrible idea, you’re right!

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Posted on June 13, 2020June 10, 2020

THE TESLA CYBERTRUCK LUNAR ROVER IS DUMB AS HELL

Basically, any dumbass with CAD software can throw together a concept of whatever deranged idea, and then I feel compelled to ruin it.

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Posted on June 10, 2020August 9, 2021

6 FOODS YOU’RE COOKING WRONG

I was poking around the internet, as one does, when I ran across an article entitled “Nine Ways You’re Cooking Pasta Wrong.” That seemed like a lot of ways to mess up a dish that’s often prepared by broke bachelors, so I was intrigued.

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Posted on May 27, 2020

THE CHRISTIAN COOPER SITUATION IS NOT THAT SIMPLE

With all the recent history of white people who apparently have a problem with black people existing near them, it’s not a ridiculous leap in logic to assume that that’s what happened here. But it’s more complicated than that.

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Posted on March 2, 2019February 19, 2019

CHINA WANTS TO PUT A SOLAR FARM IN SPACE BECAUSE NONE OF THEM READ MY BLOG

Remember four years ago when I wrote a blog about how space-based solar power is a terrible idea and won’t work? Now, Engadget is reporting that China wants to do exactly what I was talking about in that post, which will still not be possible for the same reasons and because of science.

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Posted on February 25, 2019March 7, 2019

ARE MILLENNIALS KILLING THE SUNDIAL INDUSTRY?

According to an article in The Telegraph, sundials are at risk of dying out. This will come as shocking news, no doubt, to anyone that thought sundials had already died out, which is everyone.

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Posted on February 23, 2019February 19, 2019

MEGHAN TRAINOR’S PR PEOPLE HAVE LOST THEIR MINDS

It’s no secret on this blog that I’m not a fan of Meghan Trainor. She’s supremely annoying at best and promoting unhealthy body image lessons at worst. But this new press release of hers is beyond the pale.

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Posted on November 11, 2017November 21, 2017

TOM BRADY IS A BEAUTIFUL IDIOT

Before I dive in, I want to get some things out of the way. First, Tom Brady is a beautiful man, or so I’m told. And you know what? I…

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Posted on October 31, 2017November 2, 2017

19 REASONS THIS “SURVIVAL” STORY SMELLS FISHY

Have you missed me? Trick question; I know you’ve missed me. Frankly, the main reason I haven’t been writing is laziness. I make no bones about it. The second reason…

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Posted on March 9, 2017August 9, 2021

WHY ARIAN FOSTER CAN’T FIGHT A WOLF

Arian Foster is big, strong, and confident, but he is sadly mistaken. Let’s break it down.

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Posted on January 20, 2017November 8, 2017

NO ONE CARES THAT YOU’RE SAD

It’s over. The oath has been taken, the barrier fences will soon be broken down and put in storage, and the police will go back to their normal shifts. There…

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Posted on November 7, 2016November 7, 2016

13 NEW RULES FOR AIR TRAVEL

In the last year, I have made ten trips that required air travel. I have flown something like 100,000 miles and spent roughly the entirety of my adult life in…

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  • BREAKING DOWN THE STUPIDEST CHRISTMAS AD ON TV
  • DON’T GET TOO EXCITED ABOUT NUCLEAR FUSION
  • IT DOESN’T MATTER WHETHER A FETUS IS A PERSON
  • WHY THE FLIKR PORTABLE FIREPLACE IS A STUPID IDEA
  • THE TESLA CYBERTRUCK LUNAR ROVER IS DUMB AS HELL
  • 6 FOODS YOU’RE COOKING WRONG
  • THE CHRISTIAN COOPER SITUATION IS NOT THAT SIMPLE
  • CHINA WANTS TO PUT A SOLAR FARM IN SPACE BECAUSE NONE OF THEM READ MY BLOG
  • ARE MILLENNIALS KILLING THE SUNDIAL INDUSTRY?
  • MEGHAN TRAINOR’S PR PEOPLE HAVE LOST THEIR MINDS
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