So like a month ago (because I am lazy and haven't gotten around to writing this), the Supreme Court ruled that gay marriage is legal nationwide because any laws preventing it are inherently unconstitutional under the 14th Amendment, which guarantees equal protection under the law to everyone. Liberals applauded the move because duh, and conservatives... Continue Reading →
22 STUPID PEOPLE HOLDING SIGNS
As I'm pretty sure everyone on the internet knows by now, Bill Nye recently had a debate with Ken Ham about whether creationism was a viable explanation for the origins of people and animals and plants and rocks and stars and stuff. I'll cut to the chase: it's not. Creationism doesn't have any science behind... Continue Reading →
MORE LIKE UNIVERSAL SATAN BUS…
Back in October, a group of evangelical Christians in Brazil called the Paz do Senhor Amado (Peace of the Beloved Lord) banned the use of USB connections because they're Satanic. And what makes them Satanic? Because the logo looks like a pitchfork (or trident, if you prefer), an implement commonly used by the devil in Christian... Continue Reading →
THINK JESUS PREACHED LOVE? THINK AGAIN.
I want to start with a word. It's a simple word; it's only four letters long and not at all difficult to pronounce. It's anatomical in origin, it's almost 800 years old, and yet it still is considered by some people to be "one of the few remaining words in the English language with a... Continue Reading →
THE SEEDS OF JESUS. IN YOUR MOUTH.
I would like you to look at this product and tell me what it looks like to you. Ready? Did you say that it's candy corn? You silly, irreverent, blasphemous idiot. Those right there are harvest seeds. Wait, what? Yes. Allow me to enlighten you. Rebekah Kuschmider of the Washington Times found that out recently... Continue Reading →
TWENTY UNINTENTIONALLY SEXUAL CHURCH SIGNS
I have a theory, partially grounded in fact. First, the fact: pastors don't get laid. Religious attitudes toward sex vary, but they are inevitably prudish and ignorant. Some sects of Christianity think that any sex that isn't specifically for procreation purposes is sinful and that pastors/priests should be entirely celibate (Catholics), and some are more... Continue Reading →
JESUS DID NOT MANIFEST HIMSELF IN A TREE BRANCH. STOP IT.
Perhaps you've heard of pareidolia. It's a phenomenon wherein we see patterns and faces in places they're not in. It's the reason that when you look at that image above, it's nearly impossible to convince yourself that there is no triangle. There's not. There are three circles with slices taken out of them, arranged... Continue Reading →
KEEPING MURDER IN PERSPECTIVE
I'm assuming you've heard of Terry Jones. He's a pastor for the Christian Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida, and in the summer of last year he threatened to burn a bunch of Korans on the anniversary of the 9/11/01 attacks. Not surprisingly, the world exploded in righteous outrage at the blatant and ignorant... Continue Reading →
FACEBOOK: ENEMY OF JESUS
This is the Reverend Cedric Miller. He is one of the leaders of the Living Word Christian Fellowship, and he hates Facebook. So much, in fact that he's telling all the other church leaders to cancel their Facebook accounts or resign from the church. Why? Because it promotes marital infidelity. You see, Cedric provides marriage... Continue Reading →
POSSIBILIANISM: WHY YOUR OPINION IS INCORRECT
This is a bit of a heavy one, and it's a topic that's very important to me. If you want to talk about it more, please email me, there's a contact tab at the top of the page. Don't clutter up the comments section with your attempts at dismissive one-liners. This is some serious shit I'm... Continue Reading →
SOMETIMES BEING WRONG ISN’T YOUR FAULT. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES.
I have mixed feelings about religious people, mainly because I have had mixed experiences with religious people, mainly because religious people are so damn mixed. Some very rough numbers put the number of religious people (technically, people who picked a religion on a recent survey) in the US at around 255 million, so there's probably nothing... Continue Reading →
RELIGION IS LIKE A PENIS; FORCING IT UPON OTHER PEOPLE’S CHILDREN IS FROWNED UPON
There is one reason and one reason only that I am writing this particular post, and that reason once dabbled in witchcraft. Not knowing who I'm talking about at this point is sort of on par with not knowing whether the Earth is larger than the Sun, but then again about 8% of the 640,000... Continue Reading →