THE TRANSPARENT TOASTER

A little over 18 months ago, this baffling object popped up on Memebase, well known for contributing nothing of value to the Internet ever. The caption that they gave for this is "How is this not on shelves?! Toast-making would be epic." Let's ignore the crushing sadness that fills my heart at the idea that... Continue Reading →

18 REASONS WHY I AM WRONG: A RESPONSE

Two weeks ago, in my triumphant return to writing, as I am determined to keep calling it, I wrote a piece called Six Reasons You Shouldn't Take Dietary Advice From Cavemen.  It was on my blog and I posted it to the Facebook page, anticipating the usual 300 or so pageviews. Then the post hit /r/paleo,... Continue Reading →

PIZZA ≠ VEGETABLE

Back in November, Congress declared that pizza was a vegetable in a funding bill that addressed subsidization of school lunches.  A rider to the bill stipulated that ice cream counts as a calcium supplement and that a jar of bacon fat is now defined as a protein shake. At least I think that's what happened.... Continue Reading →

THE SEEDS OF JESUS. IN YOUR MOUTH.

I would like you to look at this product and tell me what it looks like to you.  Ready? Did you say that it's candy corn?  You silly, irreverent, blasphemous idiot.  Those right there are harvest seeds. Wait, what? Yes.  Allow me to enlighten you. Rebekah Kuschmider of the Washington Times found that out recently... Continue Reading →

NUMBER ONE THREAT TO AMERICA: MORE COFFEE

Earlier this month, Starbucks released the Trenta in stores across the country.  The Trenta is a 31-ounce cup of coffee, only for use in their iced drinks.  They've been testing it since last January, and apparently it's doing well enough to implement.  The main objection that most people seem to have, and I do not... Continue Reading →

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