I was poking around the internet, as one does, when I ran across an article entitled "Nine Ways You're Cooking Pasta Wrong." That seemed like a lot of ways to mess up a dish that's often prepared by broke bachelors, so I was intrigued. That led me to an article entitled "You Are Making Scrambled... Continue Reading →
Doubtless there are some among you who are already mad at me for being so rude to this innocent woman in my title. First of all, it's paraphrased from the atrocious article on which I based this post, and secondly, get over it. She deserves it. You'll see. Earlier this week, a friend of mine... Continue Reading →
A little over 18 months ago, this baffling object popped up on Memebase, well known for contributing nothing of value to the Internet ever. The caption that they gave for this is "How is this not on shelves?! Toast-making would be epic." Let's ignore the crushing sadness that fills my heart at the idea that... Continue Reading →
Two weeks ago, in my triumphant return to writing, as I am determined to keep calling it, I wrote a piece called Six Reasons You Shouldn't Take Dietary Advice From Cavemen. It was on my blog and I posted it to the Facebook page, anticipating the usual 300 or so pageviews. Then the post hit /r/paleo,... Continue Reading →
EDIT: I've written a followup to this post here. Today, to kick off my triumphant return to writing, we're going to talk about the so-called "paleo" diet. At least four people I know have "gone paleo," as they annoyingly insist on calling the decision to eat this particular way. It's all very new-age and exciting, like... Continue Reading →
Back in November, Congress declared that pizza was a vegetable in a funding bill that addressed subsidization of school lunches. A rider to the bill stipulated that ice cream counts as a calcium supplement and that a jar of bacon fat is now defined as a protein shake. At least I think that's what happened.... Continue Reading →
I would like you to look at this product and tell me what it looks like to you. Ready? Did you say that it's candy corn? You silly, irreverent, blasphemous idiot. Those right there are harvest seeds. Wait, what? Yes. Allow me to enlighten you. Rebekah Kuschmider of the Washington Times found that out recently... Continue Reading →
This is Elizabeth McClure. She is approximately as little fun to be around as a person can be. Now I haven't met Elizabeth, so I'm just guessing, but here's why. In June, Elizabeth was eating her usual Cadbury's Nibbles, a delightful chocolatey treat, when she came across something that stopped her dead in her chocolate-eating,... Continue Reading →
You remember PETA, yes? They're the subjects of probably the angriest two posts I've written in almost two years of running this blog. I called them the most vicious hypocrisy since the Catholic Church, and I stand by that. If you want to read those two posts, here's part 1 and part 2. Anyway, in... Continue Reading →
