6 FOODS YOU’RE COOKING WRONG

I was poking around the internet, as one does, when I ran across an article entitled "Nine Ways You're Cooking Pasta Wrong." That seemed like a lot of ways to mess up a dish that's often prepared by broke bachelors, so I was intrigued. That led me to an article entitled "You Are Making Scrambled... Continue Reading →

THE TRANSPARENT TOASTER

A little over 18 months ago, this baffling object popped up on Memebase, well known for contributing nothing of value to the Internet ever. The caption that they gave for this is "How is this not on shelves?! Toast-making would be epic." Let's ignore the crushing sadness that fills my heart at the idea that... Continue Reading →

18 REASONS WHY I AM WRONG: A RESPONSE

Two weeks ago, in my triumphant return to writing, as I am determined to keep calling it, I wrote a piece called Six Reasons You Shouldn't Take Dietary Advice From Cavemen.  It was on my blog and I posted it to the Facebook page, anticipating the usual 300 or so pageviews. Then the post hit /r/paleo,... Continue Reading →

PIZZA ≠ VEGETABLE

Back in November, Congress declared that pizza was a vegetable in a funding bill that addressed subsidization of school lunches.  A rider to the bill stipulated that ice cream counts as a calcium supplement and that a jar of bacon fat is now defined as a protein shake. At least I think that's what happened.... Continue Reading →

THE SEEDS OF JESUS. IN YOUR MOUTH.

I would like you to look at this product and tell me what it looks like to you.  Ready? Did you say that it's candy corn?  You silly, irreverent, blasphemous idiot.  Those right there are harvest seeds. Wait, what? Yes.  Allow me to enlighten you. Rebekah Kuschmider of the Washington Times found that out recently... Continue Reading →

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