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Y’ALL READY FOR THIS?
Now play this video as the background music for the rest of the post. Repeat as necessary. This is a little insight into how I do things. 1) Encounter funny/facepalmy stories on the interwebs. 2) Bookmark them. 3) Write about them. Now, recently, I’ve been finding lots of stuff to…
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People Being Bad At Being People
These just keep piling up, so I’m lumping them into one post. Our first contestant is Jesse Cox, a 27-year-old man from Michigan. Jesse was married once before, and it kinda sounds like he and his wife didn’t end on the best of terms. One day, Jesse got a wild…
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NINE CONCEPT CARS YOU (WRONGLY) THINK ARE COOL
Here’s the thing about concept cars. They’re specifically designed to be way crazier than the end result. They’re about showing off design ideas and engineering feats, and since they’re not restricted by…you know, reality, they can be as outlandish and unreasonable as their designers want. And their designers are all…
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The Greatest Evil In The World Today
I’m not exaggerating. I genuinely believe that. I am speaking, of course, of religion in the broadest sense, but more specifically about the Catholic Church. I’m willing to bet that there are several of you who know me well enough to wonder whether I was ever going to comment on it,…
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In The Motherland, Icicle Kills YOU
In the process of making the world better and more intelligent in every way, I occasionally run across stories about people that could benefit enormously from my advice, but they’re too far away and probably beyond hope. This is one such story. This winter, Milana Kashtanova became the latest victim…
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Very Possibly The Most Useless Thing Ever Created
That is not a statement I make lightly. There are a lot of products out there that are pathetic to the point that they can really only be described as useless, but that still retain some kind of utility (I’ve reviewed a crapload of them right here). For example, the…
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Grapes of Wrath
Apparently, there are two lawsuits going on in the Chicago area right now by two different people against two different grocery stores. Both are women, both were shopping at the time, and both suffered grievous injury after slipping on these. Look at that smug, juicy, delicious little bastard. Yes. Grapes.…
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Nature Wins Again
This is a lion. Hello. It weighs almost 600 pounds, has huge pointy teeth (see above), and is generally accepted to be really, really, holy-crap-run-it’s-a-fucking-lion-and-also-I-just-peed-myself-in-an-uncontrollable-manner scary. If it’s hungry enough or you make it mad, it will eat your face off and then wash it down with the rest of…
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Solidarity
In a 1999 Gallup poll that asked people if they would vote for a presidential candidate who was “generally well-qualified but happened to be _______,” atheists came in last on the list at 49%, behind women (95), Catholics (94), Jews (92), blacks (92), Mormons (79), and gays (79). In 2007,…
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UNREASONABLY DANGEROUS ONION RINGS 