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I Rest My Case
Remember a few days ago when I wrote that post about drivers of BMW 3-Series? Well this video just cropped up today. Basically, the guy in the video is trying to film a particular fun, windy road he likes to drive on in his Mazda Speed3. He tries to leave…
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Green-Tinted Glasses
I’ve written about Inhabitat before, mostly because they’re hilarious and don’t seem to have a goddamned clue what’s actually good for the environment, instead opting to post every impossible concept and misguided, well-intentioned effort at environmental friendliness. The latest installment is this. Shiny = good, apparently The eagle-eyed among you…
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An Open Letter To Drivers Of BMW 3-Series
Dear . . . you, Stop it. I do not mean that you should stop driving, nor that you should stop owning a car, nor even that you should use slightly less hair gel—it’s “pea-sized,” not “peach-sized”—every morning. I mean that you should stop buying BMW 3-Series. Why? Because essentially,…
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A Quandary
Today in the Colorado Daily, Boulder’s local paper, there was an article about the arrest of a psychic from Lafayette. Now, I use the word “psychic” because that is what these people call themselves, not because there is the slightest shred of evidence that such people are anything other than…
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The Bad, the Sad, and the Ugly
The Bad The Shell Eco-Marathon is a thing that happens every year when a bunch of people get together and run their homemade cars for six miles around a track to see who can get the best gas mileage. Every year, they are hailed as the future of cars, groundbreaking…
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How To Ruin An Already Worthless Animal
Just . . . just fucking kill it. Honestly, I thought for a moment about just putting the photo with no caption on this post, and letting you cry yourselves to sleep without further input. Then I read the description. Satisfying a mutual desire for companionship, this high chair permits…
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Commemorating Ignorant Racism. Hooray.
I found this article at the end of March, when everyone was talking about the Census. Apparently a group called the Southern Legal Resource Center are “concerned with preserving Southern Heritage, from the merely interested, to those under attack by South bashers, to the attorneys fighting to stop these abuses.”…
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Nazis On The Moon
Not even joking. An online tabloid called Truth Today says they have gotten hold of leaked images of a swastika on the moon. I’ll take you through each and every (completely imbecilic) point made in the article. Here’s the image in question. The file name is cassiopeia_moon_swastika.jpg, which is just…
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Another Instance Of Excessively Fragile People Hurting Themselves In Retarded Ways
A woman in a movie theater in Chicago is suing a local movie theater for head injuries she sustained when she got whacked over the head. By what? I so very much wish that I was kidding. No, not the chair. The armrest. Apparently, this woman was bending down in…
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UNREASONABLY DANGEROUS ONION RINGS 