In The Motherland, Icicle Kills YOU

In the process of making the world better and more intelligent in every way, I occasionally run across stories about people that could benefit enormously from my advice, but they’re too far away and probably beyond hope.  This is one such story.

This winter, Milana Kashtanova became the latest victim of a vicious series of incidents that has been plaguing Saint Petersburg in Russia’s coldest winter in 30 years.  The culprit?

THIS.  DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN.  Well, probably not this exact one, but likely something similar.  Shut up.

That’s correct.  An icicle or chunk of ice or something heavy and icy like that fell from a rooftop and hit Milana as she was walking underneath.  She’s been in a coma since February from the ice that hit her, which is ridiculous and tragic, but here’s the thing.

I should warn you, I’m about to be insensitive.

It’s falling ice.  It doesn’t come randomly from blue skies, it doesn’t jump out at you in your bedroom, and it doesn’t throw itself in front of your car.  It falls off the edge of buildings and goes straight down at 9.8 m/s^2 until it hits something.  Every single time.  How do you avoid it?  Don’t walk next to tall, ice-covered buildings.  Or wear a helmet.

That, my friends, is how you deal with ice.  Note the helmet.

Now you might think that’s overkill, I mean who other than Will Gadd (guy in the photo) wears a helmet all the time and looks awesome doing it?  I mean that’s just absurd . . . right?

No.  Guess how many people have been hurt by falling ice this winter?  A hundred and forty-seven.  And five more have died.

Take a fucking hint, Russians.  Whatever you’re doing, do something different or you’ll die.

Some people don’t learn.

2 thoughts on “In The Motherland, Icicle Kills YOU

  1. JohnnyKickAHoleIntheSky says:

    Also there are a surprising number of deaths/injuries annually from falling coconuts. I agree with your advice and that this is avoidable, it is a shame that the placement of city sidewalks often put people in the fall zone, and many people would probably feel a bit overcautious or a bit OCD weaving around the palm trees on vacation.

  2. JohnnyKickAHoleIntheSky says:

    I apologize, but after a literature/web search I have found that this is commonly passed on missinformation that I am now perpetuating, but now trying to correct. This was passed on to me by a former SCUBA instructor illustrating the irrational fear of shark attacks compared to coconut injuries. Here are some references:

    http://www.wisegeek.com/are-falling-coconuts-dangerous.htm

    http://www.sharks.org.au/quotes.html

    Anyway, I do believe that people have irrational fear of certain things over another. For instance, in my opinion people should be much more terrified of eating a typical american diet of fatty crap or driving in certain conditions (which both certainly kill many more people than sharks, falling icicles, or falling coconuts combined).

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