UNREASONABLY DANGEROUS ONION RINGS

  • JESUS DID NOT MANIFEST HIMSELF IN A TREE BRANCH. STOP IT.

    Perhaps you’ve heard of pareidolia.  It’s a phenomenon wherein we see patterns and faces in places they’re not in.   It’s the reason that when you look at that image above, it’s nearly impossible to convince yourself that there is no triangle.  There’s not.  There are three circles with slices…

    READ MORE

  • THIS ISN’T ROCKET SURGERY

    First things first.  This story came from Inhabitat.  Based on the vast majority of my previous experience with Inhabitat, we can immediately assume that they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.  Second, they’re talking about space and rockets, and based on my previous experience with basically any news…

    READ MORE

  • KEEPING MURDER IN PERSPECTIVE

    I’m assuming you’ve heard of Terry Jones.  He’s a pastor for the Christian Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida, and in the summer of last year he threatened to burn a bunch of Korans on the anniversary of the 9/11/01 attacks.  Not surprisingly, the world exploded in righteous outrage…

    READ MORE

  • SADNESS IS JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR NOT ENOUGH FLASHLIGHTS IN YOUR BRAIN

    Sometimes, people think of a problem that other people have, and they think, “Hey, I know how to fix that!”  The problem is that a lot of these people are wrong.  Some of them genuinely think they have a solution, but are to stupid to realize they’re wrong, and some…

    READ MORE

  • IN CASE BEING BALD WASN’T A BIG ENOUGH BLOW TO YOUR EGO…

    Apparently bald people would rather not be bald.  To that end, there are approximately a billion metric fucktons of products available to aid them in their not-being-bald-based goals.  I have no idea how many of them work, but I’m pretty sure that this one goes into the “does not work”…

    READ MORE

  • THIS IS LITERALLY JUST AN EXCUSE TO POST CAT PICTURES

    So in case you haven’t heard, there’s this thing where the Internet has developed a fondness for cats.  Apparently—and we’ll flesh this report out as more information comes in—some people like to assign anthropomorphic captions to silly pictures of cats to imply that the cats themselves are saying those things. …

    READ MORE

  • 5 SONGS THAT PROVE YOU SHOULDN’T TAKE ADVICE FROM CARRIE UNDERWOOD

    First, I should note something. For the purpose of this article, I’m going to assume that the main female character in everyone of Carrie Underwood’s songs is her, and that all of the things they (she) go (goes) through actually happened to her. I’m doing this for two reasons: first,…

    READ MORE

  • OMG ALEIN LIFE HAS DEFINATELY PROBLY BEEN FOUND!!!1!

    This seems to be the tone of most of the articles covering a recent discovery by Richard Hoover of what appear to be bacterial fossils in the Orgueil meteorite. And as usual, it’s up to real scientists to make a desperate attempt to restrain the slavering news media and public and explain…

    READ MORE