I’m not a graphically creative person. I’m a wordsmith, a sculptor of language. When it comes to actually making the pictures, I…well I don’t do that. I pilfer from Google Images and put captions to them, which again is just with the words.
That said, I’ve never thought it would be that difficult to design logos for companies. Maybe it’s hard to come up with the ideas, but it shouldn’t be too hard to avoid grievously inappropriate sexual innuendo, right?
Apparently it is.
1. Catholic Church’s Archdiocesian Youth Commission
This logo is from 1973, and didn’t just get accepted, it won a design award. Granted, the whole Catholic Church scandal hadn’t blown up yet (though it was happening), but still…
That’s clearly a child blowing a priest. Not ok guys.
2. Arlington Pediatric Center
The Arlington Pediatric Center is a hospital that gives health care to poor kids. It’s a very noble thing to be doing, so the logo should be equally noble and professional.
No. Not like that.
3. Institute of Oriental Studies
This is supposed to be the image of a traditionally shaped Chinese building against a giant red setting sun. Majesty, tradition, respect, etc.
Unfortunately, it appears instead to be someone with a very round, red ass violating him/herself on a trophy stand. Or a lamppost. Or something.
This is the logo for the Office of Government Commerce in the UK.
It’s boring, but otherwise fine. The problem is when you turn it on its side.
Brings a whole new level of meaning to “O face,” doesn’t it?
Now so far, that’s been amateur hour. Those ones have been the kind of thing where you can interpret it as dirty if you want to, but you can still see what they’re going for. That’s bush league. Meet Swedish real estate company locum.
They’re very popular, and they normally send out Christmas cards to their clients every year to thank them for their business and so on, but last year they decided to do something different. They took out a full-page ad in a local magazine explaining that in an effort to be more environmentally friendly, they weren’t going to send out cards this year. Instead, they’d only run the one ad with a somewhat stylized logo and put a little heart in there to let you know that they still love you. It backfired horribly.
Let that be a lesson to you, ladies and gentlemen. ALWAYS let outside eyes of some kind see what you do before it goes public. Otherwise you’ll accidentally become a pedophile. Those are the rules.