CELL PHONES DO NOT CAUSE CANCER. STILL. REALLY.
Listen, kids. Normally I try to come up with some kind of pithy title for my posts, often including a pun or a lot of swear words because I’m pissed…
Category: Stupid People
NUMBER ONE THREAT TO AMERICA: MORE COFFEE
Earlier this month, Starbucks released the Trenta in stores across the country. The Trenta is a 31-ounce cup of coffee, only for use in their iced drinks. They’ve been testing…
OMG ALEIN LIFE HAS DEFINATELY PROBLY BEEN FOUND!!!1!
This seems to be the tone of most of the articles covering a recent discovery by Richard Hoover of what appear to be bacterial fossils in the Orgueil meteorite. And…
NO, SEE, WE ACTUALLY HAVE LAWS AGAINST BLATANT RACISM
A strip club in Wisconsin is making people angry, and it hasn’t even opened yet. Why? Because of this sign. Can you believe that? For the last time, people, apostrophes…
ON SELF-ELECTROCUTION AND LITIGIOUSNESS
Let me explain to you what electrocution means. I have no doubt that many of you have hear the word before, probably from someone who told you that they electrocuted…
THE SUN DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU
Angeles Duran is a woman in Spain who claims to own the Sun. Not in the sense that she regularly kicks the Sun’s ass at sports, in the sense that…
IN WHICH I EXPLAIN THIS NEW HOROSCOPE CRAP FOR THE PEANUT GALLERY
I’m sure most of you have heard that your star sign has changed. I’m equally sure that most of you don’t know why it’s changed, because the media made this sound…
FACEBOOK: ENEMY OF JESUS
This is the Reverend Cedric Miller. He is one of the leaders of the Living Word Christian Fellowship, and he hates Facebook. So much, in fact that he’s telling all…
SOMETIMES BEING WRONG ISN’T YOUR FAULT. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES.
I have mixed feelings about religious people, mainly because I have had mixed experiences with religious people, mainly because religious people are so damn mixed. Some very rough numbers put…
YOU PROBABLY JUST SHOULDN’T BUY A COMPUTER AT ALL…
A man named Joshua Kors wrote an article in the Huffington Post. It’s called “Why I’m Returning My iMac.” It turns out that the reason is that he’s a slobbering…
TIDES! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY WORK?
There is an organization in this country called the American Atheists. They’re mostly dedicated to maintaining the separation of church and state, but they have some other assorted causes. One…
WHEN BEING AN IGNORANT RACIST COMES BACK TO BITE YOU
Up until September, Pawel and Ola were relatively content people. They were highschool sweethearts, happily married, and thought “that Jews were the biggest plague and the worst evil of this…
NO ONE COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING
Let’s say you’re a Swedish schoolgirl. You have a test coming up, and you don’t know what’s on it, because let’s face it, that’s kind of why they do those.
SIX ASTOUNDINGLY TERRIBLE PEOPLE
1. Urine, Donuts, and Fellatio This is Shantell Ishem. She’s 27 and she’s from Oklahoma. She stole a donut from a car. Now when I get a donut, I know…
PARENTAL ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T HAVE KIDS
We all know that when someone is entering into a complicated and difficult situation, the advice that they appreciate most is that which comes from people who have never been…
Unreasonably Dangerous Onion Rings 