BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU NEED A HUG (A STORY WITH PICTURES)

This is Mark Eskelsen.

He is scary.

He is scary.

He is homeless.

But probably not a Jedi.

But probably not a Jedi.

One day, Mark broke into a suburban home in Portland, Oregon and jumped in their hot tub.
It probably did not contain Denise Milani.

It probably did not contain Denise Milani.

Then, Mark pulled out his cell phone and called 911.
Because apparently homeless people have cell phones in Portland.

Because apparently homeless people have cell phones in Portland.

He told the dispatcher that he was the sheriff of Washington County, and that he needed medical assistance.
Probably from Denise Milani.

Probably from Denise Milani.

When he failed to properly identify himself with a badge number or emergency codes or his name or any of the other pesky things that law enforcement officers use to identify themselves, the dispatcher refused to help him.  Shouting ensued.
This is how 911 operators are trained to use phones.

This is how 911 operators are trained to use phones.

Finally, Mark broke down.  He told the dispatcher that he wasn’t really the sheriff, he didn’t need medical assistance, and in fact the real problem was that he’d been in the hot tub for ten hours and his towels had gotten wet.  All he really wanted, he said, was “a hug and a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows in it.
Seriously, you can find pictures of this chick doing anything.

Seriously, you can find pictures of this chick doing anything.

Instead, he was arrested for second-degree criminal trespass and improper use of 911.  By Denise Milani.
Moral of the story?  Don’t get your towel wet.

One thought on “BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU NEED A HUG (A STORY WITH PICTURES)

  1. Hanna says:

    I'll remember that lesson, seeing as I'm also a jedi… but not homeless or near a hot tub…still a useful bit of advice.

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