What? I know. Put your brain back in, that’s the actual headline and I could find no room in it for improvement. Here’s the story.
Henry Ostrander, a historian at the Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico, was sound asleep in bed one night. Suddenly, a scream cut the air. Henry recognized the scream as belonging to the camp goat, Esmerelda, and he was totally not ok with that. He jumped out of bed, dragging his herculean balls with him, and ran outside.
When he got out there, a 300-pound black bear had the goat pinned on the ground, ready to eat the shit out of her, which Henry was also totally not ok with.
So he punched the bear. Right in its stupid face.
The bear ran away, Henry rescued the goat, and the camp manager shot the bear three times and killed it just in case it wasn’t having a bad enough day being deprived of food and punched in the face.
Oh, and Henry? He’s 66.
Next time you feel awesome, think about that.