Good gracious me, it’s been 11 days since my last post. I must have a life or something. Anyway.
Jumping right into it, let us observe this headline:
Oh, but this guy did. He took an electric dog collar to his four children (ignore for a moment that there is a woman somewhere that let him impregnate her) because, and I quote, he “thought it was funny”. The kids were 3, 6, 8, and 9, and had each been shocked at least once while wearing the collar, probably more. The man’s statement said that he enjoyed chasing the 3-year-old around, making him cry at the prospect of being shocked again.
Despite the fact that dog collars usually only carry a 9-volt punch, which isn’t enough to harm anyone, that’s fucked up. I vote that instead of the kids being sent to Mom’s house and sending Dad to jail (where he currently is), the following punishment should be given. Kids and Dad stay in the same house, but each child is equipped with a Taser with 2-3 charges in them apiece. Hilarity ensues. Police will be kept on hand to make sure Dad doesn’t do anything crazy, and also to shout “Dance, you pasty fucker! DANCE, I SAID!” at predetermined intervals. Then the kids can go live with Mom and leave Todd Marcum at home to cry in a puddle of his own piss. That seems fair.