On November 10, 2009, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 was released.  Twenty-four hours later, Activision had sold 4.6 million copies for $310,000,000.  That’s not video game money, that’s box office money.  That is, in fact, more money than any movie has made in its opening weekend ever, by a huge margin.  Now, a little over a year later, it’s made more than a billion dollars.

You could say it’s popular.

Also, as basically every human being under the age of 30 can tell you, there are achievements to be had in the game.  Most of them involve playing the game for an ungodly amount of time, often to do something a certain number of times in a given time period.  Which leads to this.

But hey, at least they’re reusable, right?  More environmentally friendly, or . . . something.

Unfortunately, a sweaty fat man, paler than the driven snow and covered in Cheeto dust, is not the sexiest thing in the world.  Women do not want them.  Not even a tiny bit.

But men have needs, so what’s a guy to do?  What’s a poor old gamer to do?

It’s a plastic vagina. Get over it.

That’s right.  It’s a package deal.

2 Thoughts

  1. Heh, it's very true. Gamers have no life (and hate movement).

    I'll have to say I have a very skewed view of the online gaming world. I play WoW and I have to say a huge percentage of the players I know either a. are under 18 and therefore won't (or shouldn't) be having tons of sex (some, but not tons) anyways, or b. are married couples (with both halves playing mmos). So stuff like the second one there don't often ring true with me (even though they are hilarious).

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