If you read the title and are already upset, then you’re already part of the problem.  If you don’t want to read the opinions of those who think differently than you, you might as well close the browser and move on.

Speaking of which, women.  I have long said that women are too nice to each other (or at least pretend to be), and that’s what leads them to be sensitive and emotional.  I’ll clarify.  When men are but boys, a mere five or six years old, they’re already abusing each other.  Fights, forts, snowballs, sticks, insults, and so on.  As they grow older, they incorporate more sophisticated bullying and swear words and so on.  I’m not saying that’s an inherently good thing, but it does mean that an adult man has been playfully insulted and criticized so often that it doesn’t affect him as much.  A self-confident adult male is self-confident not because he’s never been told he’s not good enough, but in spite of the fact that he’s been told that over and over.  That’s why when we’re helping our friends move and find a box labeled “decor and such” and call it the gayest box ever, he can just laugh it off.

Haha! Look at how homosexual his belongings are!

Women don’t do that.  I don’t know what it’s like to grow up a woman, because I didn’t, but I have spent a lot of time around them as adolescents and adults, and they don’t mess with each other the way men do.  If a friend of mine is wearing a shirt that makes him look like a member of the Persian mob, I’ll tell him.  If a girl is wearing something that looks terrible, her friends won’t.  They won’t tell her that her hair looks bad or that her relationship problems are her own fault.  Women reassure each other constantly that they’re pretty and nice and that any guy would be lucky to have them, which is a nice sentiment, but it’s not always true.

Take dating.  Let’s say a guy and a girl are dating.  Apparently that happens sometimes.  Let’s say it’s not going that well, which could be for any number of reasons.  Some of them are the guy’s fault, some are the girl’s fault.  It’s equally likely.  But women will not admit that.  They will never admit that they might be part of the problem, because they’ve been constantly reassured by their friends that they’re perfect and that guys are assholes and that it’s all men’s fault or society’s fault or Playboy’s fault for putting women who are too attractive on the cover.

Enter Pinterest.  Pinterest is stupid.  Pinterest is a place where you can “pin” things that you see on Pinterest to another place on Pinterest.  It is absolutely saturated with women, something between 70% and 99%, depending on who you ask.  And most pins come from within Pinterest, because users are deeply uncreative.

Pinterest also has a “Quotes” section.

Now put everything I’ve told you together.  That means that the Quotes section is full of women telling themselves and each other how beautiful and wonderful and perfect they are, with no reality check and no dissenters, and then other women repin those things accompanied by a comment that says “omg so true.”  It has enhanced the ability of women to gather in groups and reassure each other that their problems are not their fault by a factor of thousands.  Worse, they’re collectively proud of the irrational shit they do.  So women are pissed at men because a million other women have told them they should be, and men are pissed at women because their moronic behavior toward men is now being super-endorsed by everyone they know, and because they can now handle absolutely zero criticism without accusing men of oppression or emotional abuse.  It’s a bad situation.  I’ll show you some examples.

Let’s think this through.  First of all, there is not a single woman in the world who thinks she’s one of the rotten apples on the ground.  Second, there is not a single boy in the world who thinks he’s picking one of the rotten ones.  All of the sad, lonely women who read this will come away from it thinking “it’s not my fault, I’m amazing.  Boys just aren’t trying hard enough.”

I’m going to tell you a hard truth.  Sometimes it’s you.  Maybe you’re stupid or shrill or annoying or clingy or ANY number of reasons that boys don’t like you.  Maybe the “easy” ones aren’t sluts, as you seem to be implying, maybe they’re genuinely nice girls who aren’t holding out for some impossible hypothetical standard.  Here’s the thing.  Awesome girls — the ones who are fun and nice and so on — do not have trouble getting guys to like them because they are awesome.  If one guy doesn’t like you, maybe he’s an ass or maybe you’re just not his type.  If no one likes you, it’s probably because you’re horrible.  Next.

Oh good.  So when you say, effectively, that nothing’s wrong, what you mean is that many things are wrong.  And you’re ok with that.  You’re totally fine (and I use that word the way normal humans do) with abjectly lying about how you feel, even though it’ll make you feel worse to do so because no one will know that something’s wrong with you.  No one’s a mind reader.  No one will know that you’re freaked out, insecure, nervous, or emotional unless a) you TELL them or b) they sort of pick up on your mood, in which case they’ll ask you what’s wrong.  If, when they do that, you tell them you’re fine, they will drop it.  Making someone fight like hell for the privilege of being your shoulder to cry on is not something to be proud of.  Speaking of which…

Are you fucking kidding me?  What you’re saying is that if you walk away from a guy and he chases you, that’s a good thing?  What happened to no means no?  When you’re mad at a guy and you want nothing more to do with him and say something along the lines of “this conversation is over” and leave, you’d rather he pursue you?  Because I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.  Also, if I’M talking to a girl and she gets mad and leaves, I’m going to let her leave because she’s clearly upset and wants to be somewhere that I am not.  If you want to be near him, don’t fucking leave.

You know, as I write this, I’m picking up on an epistemological difference between men and women.  You see, when men say words, they’re under the impression that those words have meanings that most people understand.  Not so the fairer sex.  If a girl says “I’m done,” a nice, respectful guy will think “you know what, I’ll respect her decision and let her go.”  You know who hears “I’m done” and thinks, “Like hell you are, this isn’t over, I will MAKE you love me?”  PSYCHOPATHS.  So if you tell a guy this and he doesn’t fight for you, don’t take that to mean that he doesn’t care.  Take that to mean that he’s both capable of understanding English and unlikely to put you in a hole and lower lotion to you in a basket.

Hey look, it’s funny’s cousin: not funny.  This one’s obviously meant to be taken sarcastically, implying instead that he didn’t text you back because he’s an incorrigible asshole, or maybe that he’s balls deep in your best friend.  Not texting back, according to this and other posts I found, is an egregious offense.  But maybe — and understand that I’m only saying this because I’m a man — he’s busy.  Maybe he’s in class, or at dinner, or in the shower.  Maybe he’s hanging out with his friends playing video games and he’ll text you in like ten minutes at halftime.  Maybe his pajama pants don’t have pockets.  Maybe he fell asleep mid conversation, as has happened to me twice by the same girl (you know who you are) this month alone.  Maybe it’s not a big deal.  Let it go.

Firstly, learn how to use semicolons.  Here’s a useful guide from The Oatmeal.  Second, this is one of the most oblivious things I’ve ever seen.  Seriously, holy shit.  Let’s flip it.  So you like a guy, you text him, he doesn’t text back.  That means he doesn’t like you, which means you’re the girl he doesn’t like who won’t leave him alone.  The guy you don’t like who won’t stop texting you?  That’s you.  You do that.  Except to him, you’re the girl he likes who never texts back.  So in your own mind, you’re the perfectly normal girl who’s juggling an aloof dickhead and a clingy creeper, and from an objective point of view, you’re both.

Well that’s fucking stupid too.  If you know the answer to a question, there are only two reasons to ask it.  One is for the sake of rhetoric.  We call these rhetorical questions (see how that works?).  The other is in order to entrap someone in something you think they might lie about.  If those are the only kinds of questions you ask the men in your life, you are categorically a bitch.  The worst variation of this is when you know you’re not going to like the answer (“Do you think she’s pretty?”) and ask it anyway.  Why would you do that if you’re going to get mad at the answer?  Of course I think she’s pretty.  Why?  Because she’s pretty.  You’re not the only attractive woman in the entire world, and if you need to be told that you are, this isn’t going to work.

If he disses you, ignore him.  If he hits on your friends and lies to you, ignore him.  If he makes you happy for a night and then ignores you, shun him.  If, after all that, you still love him, that’s your own damn fault.

No, you think we mean “skinny girls with big boobs” because you aren’t one.  There are tons of women who are thought of as hot by the mainstream male population specifically because of their “woman-sized hips.”  Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, Eva Mendez, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Rihanna, Beyonce, and so forth.  If you think you’re “curvy” and yet most guys don’t think you’re hot, it’s probably because you’re fat.  That’s unfortunate, but don’t blame men because your self-image is deluded.

And now we go the other direction.  No one expects you to look like a Victoria’s Secret Angel except you.  Women are more critical of each other than men ever are.  And really, all this is saying is that you’re, at best, as shallow and image-oriented as we are.

Clever color scheme aside, no.  If you’re just another one to him, then he’s not the one.  Simple as that.

If you were with a guy and you were a certain way, and then he dumped you, then this is dumb advice.  If “what he could have had” is different than what he had, then he’s justified in leaving you.  If, on the other hand, he rejects you, then go for it.  He probably knows what he could have had and didn’t like it; that’s why he rejected you.  Still dumb.

Remember, girls: men are scumbags.  When a woman cancels a date, it’s because she has other, more important things in her life.  Women have a life outside of their relationships, so it’s totally acceptable for them to cancel a date if necessary.

Men, on the other hand, should worship you.  You should be literally the most important thing in your boyfriend’s life, so that he has no priorities other than being with you on your date nights.  If he cancels, the ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION is that he’s cheating on you.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

I’m putting this in for two reasons: first, because of the word “increbile.”  Which isn’t even close.  And second, because no he isn’t.  He might be sorry he lost you, and he might also be glad he got rid of the clinger who won’t stop talking about how increbile she is.

These are all stupid.

Aaaaaaaand you’ve ruined it.

Instead of all this bullshit, maybe you should just admit that you’re making problems for yourself at least SOME of the time.

Then we can talk.

20 Thoughts

  1. I think you might be hanging out with the wrong women if they believe all that crap. CU used to have really cool women…at least the ones that didn't belong to the sororities

  2. I have been reading your stuff for years, and doubt I've ever left a comment. So in the interest of showing you that you have an enormous silent audience, and therefore a great tangible reason to write more hilarious/honest/accurate stuff, I wanted to let you know this is a brilliant critique of the unfortunate state of the female mindset. As Mr. Miyagi once said (or Mr. Han in the new version, I believe), “there are no bad students, just teachers”, and it seems like our media/oblivious parents/schools or whatever are training females in this insanity just like your article suggests. Anyways, keep up the excellent work, Sir! I'm always looking forward to your next article.

  3. Pinterest is a horrible website and should go die in the depths of hell. I would never consider signing up, and I'm a woman.

    I think the point you're making is perfectly legitimate (and hilarious!), but I do take offense at you taking what is really an unimportant minority and rhetorically addressing it as if it is all of womanhood. That's like me saying that one Dr. Pepper ad ( represents how advertising is a horrible place where men believe in unrealistic paradigms of virility and disparage the the fairer sex as somehow holding them back. There are some men who believe that. Most don't, because most men aren't stupid dicks.

    Yes, the women who are posting these things because they agree with the message are dicks. There are also probably some women who are posting these things because of how obviously stupid, naive, and selfish they are, and are intentionally poking fun at them (I have at least one friend who does that all the time. She even has the sense not to call it “ironic”). But I think the women that matter – the ones who you might actually want to be friends with – are not represented on this site at all.

    (Yes, writing too much is a consistent problem for me. Sorry!)

  4. I know this doesn't represent ALL women, but I think the general mindset is pervasive. And I definitely think that the women that matter aren't represented. That's sort of the point. What I'm saying is that the crazy women represented here used to be a somewhat quiet minority, but now that Pinterest has come along, it's made this staggeringly naive mindset more mainstream and, by pure saturation, more acceptable. Thus, Pinterest is making women intolerable. QED.

  5. See, it's that weird mindset that “women” are a hivemind and that some people's shitty opinions will reflect on me, even though there are ~3.5 billion of us.

    There are so many idiotic photosets sent around by men with a creepy Nice Guy complex and weird ideas about “sluttiness” or women's bodies. Somehow, this is never framed as making men intolerable.

  6. This isn't supposed to be a comprehensive deconstruction about intergender attitudes. I've been on Pinterest recently for an Ad Media class, I noticed this trend, and I wrote about it. If there's a similar gathering place for some other irrational mindset, let me know. That's what the email address is for.

  7. “Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, Eva Mendez, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Rihanna, Beyonce, and so forth.” These women are still generally considered pretty damn skinny. I looked up both Kim Kardashian's and Jennifer Lopez's measurements, and they are both said to have 26″ waists. You DO realize that it is very, VERY difficult to get a body with large hips and a 26″ waist, don't you? Only 8% of women have the hourglass body shape, so this means that a very large proportion of women with “woman-sized hips” do NOT have this body type that you mentioned.

    I have to admit, though. My favorite part of this article is: “If you think you're “curvy” and yet most guys don't think you're hot, it's probably because you're fat. That's unfortunate, but don't blame men because your self-image is deluded.” This line is followed immediately by: “And now we go the other direction. No one expects you to look like a Victoria's Secret Angel except you. Women are more critical of each other than men ever are.” Hm, you just used a pretty charged word (fat) to tell a woman that most people don't find her hot BECAUSE she is fat, and now you're making it sound like no one expects us to have a certain body type except for us. You sound just as critical of women in this one spot (Hell, in this whole article) as women are to themselves.

    I am not saying that I agree with any of the pictures that you are attacking here. I, in all honesty, do not. I do, however, also disagree with the way you attack the pictures. In this article, you are generally being just as bad as the people who share and create these images.

  8. I damn near fell out of my chair laughing!
    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this!
    I am so sick to death of seeing my facebook wall filled with BS affirmations from one clingy, lonely, overly-emotional chick to another.
    What blows my mind even more; At times when I've been dumped and readily admitted that I wasn't doing something I should have been, or was doing something I shouldn't have been, I ALWAYS got the whole, “Oh shut up girl! You were good to that boy! It's his own fault that he didn't realize how good he had it! He will regret losing you!”… Women act as though admitting your flaws means you have low self-esteem and are fishing for complements.

  9. I really enjoyed this article. I am a bit ashamed to admit that I'm on Pintrest and the examples of things you found demonstrate why. So much of the site is filled with crap like these quotes and I also find it strange that women will pin numerous pictures of random in shape women as motivators for reaching her ideal body weight. It just seems like a waste of time. If you want to lose weight eat better and exercise. Get off the internet. That being said, I have found numerous delicious recipes on Pintrest.

  10. I'm a woman. I love men.

    Men have helped me, made me laugh, supported me, told me great stories, opened my mind to new things, made me a better person, gave me pleasure, wrote me love letters.

    I'm no beauty queen. Most men, good men, don't care anymore than I do about THEIR looks.

  11. This is Funny and accurate! Pinterest is such a waste. I would call myself a crafty woman but seriously this shit is mind numbing. Love the post. Maybe someone should pin it. Ha ha. Thanks for the laughs!

  12. You wrote this in October of last year so you didn't know about this

    but the comments section where I first saw it (can't remember which site) had a lady who completely missed the point, saying quite sincerely, “Yes!! Finally someone understands how stupid guys are!! girlzrock! mensuck! womynpower!!” I may have paraphrased the last bit.

    As for this post, as a woman I COULDN'T AGREE MORE!! Not every woman, but many that I know. I feel like a guy trapped in a woman's body. Metaphorically. You ask me a question, I'll tell you the truth. Usually that makes people mad. And I can't tell you how many times I've said, teeth and fists clenched, “Just tell me what you want! I can't read your mind!”

    Another stellar post!!!

  13. I hate generalisations. Obviously not all females agree with posts like these pictures, I hope you’re aware of that and you’re referring to those who do agree. And they need to wake up.

    I’m a girl (no shit) and none of my girl friends have this state of mind. We tease each other all the time and being honest is highly appreciated. Someone commented saying she feels like a guy because she tells the truth. Please. You’re hanging out with the wrong people (girls). Honesty doesn’t come with testosterone.

    Also, I never see these kind of dumbass things on pinterest because the users I follow don’t post/pin it. I aware it’s there, though. Like the rest of the social media sites. Pinterest can be pretty inspiring if you know how to use it.

  14. A woman’s need for affirmation and accountability-avoidance is wired into her DNA.

    In caveman klan days up until the present day, in essence, if a woman were seen in a negative light she might be kicked out of the klan. If this happened, she would almost certainly perish (caveman days) or suffer socially and economically (present day).

    It’s biology — women are far more instinctually driven to gain and maintain herd-acceptance via false affirmation and deceitful accountability-avoidance. And that is unlikely to change anytime soon.

  15. A woman’s need for affirmation and accountability-avoidance is wired into her DNA.

    In caveman klan days up until the present day, in essence, if a woman were seen in a negative light she might be kicked out of the klan. If this happened, she would almost certainly perish (caveman days) or suffer socially and economically (present day).

    It’s biology — women are far more instinctually driven to gain and maintain herd-acceptance via false affirmation and deceitful accountability-avoidance. And that is unlikely to change anytime soon.

  16. I’m a chick & I do not understand the appeal of pinterest. It is a waste of time & makes me grateful we have the ability to exclude it from internet searches. Otherwise, I’d go mad. It is the dumbest tech invention to date!

  17. This is very interesting. Your perception of women could come from lack of knowledge of them. As a woman/person, i really don’t ask anyone, for their opinions, as i don’t care. If anyone gives me the phony “you look good” or something of that nature, i can see when is fake. Since i am European, we really are not like that, “you look fat in that dress, go change” is not an uncommon comment. Pinterest or any other social media platform used in excess is an indication of inmaturity and social maladaptations in general for men and women. I don’t understand why post what is already posted, but people can be quiet feeble minded. I think this article is very critical of women and maybe lenghty, but still interesting. I personally are not offended, since your opinion is only yours. I could careless what people think. Keep writting. I will keep reading. It is still fun and enterntaining.

    1. It definitely did come from lack of knowledge, though I think some of this still holds true. However, the article is nine years old, so I certainly don’t think it’s an accurate portrayal of how I currently think.

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